Assemb. Woman Allard Crowned Alaskan of the Year by MRA Universe
Eagle River, Alaska (TBA) - Eagle River Assemblyperson Jamie Allard received the not-so-coveted 'Totally Legit Alaskan of the Year,' award which was bestowed upon her after a Must Read Alaska poll was conducted within MRA's comfy 'universe.' A paltry 300 people who participated in the poll crowned Ms. Allard victor.
The poll was seemingly conducted months ahead of time, most likely because of the great press coverage Allard received in the first two months of 2021. Some people (or bots) who voted in the poll may even reside in Alaska, The Blue Alaskan has learned.
Allard's Bigly Yuge Year
Far-right Alaskans are all but certain to rally around the Save Anchorage Füh·rer (relax it just means leader), who has already had a tremendous and exciting year.
Less than two months into 2021, Ms. Allard has seen her name in bright lights all around the world, receiving honorable mentions in the Washington Post, Car Buzz, UPolitics, The Daily Mail, The Stranger, and The Yeshiva World.
Alaska Governor Michael Dunleavy took note of the honorable mentions and lofty articles written around the world about Allard and believed her to be a great example for all Alaskans.
In return for amazing press coverage and international news, the Governor tossed her off the Alaska Human Rights Commission as a sign of his deep-rooted respect and admiration for Allard's less than a year of public service. The governor seemed very happy about all of the attention Allard drew to him and rewarded her appropriately.
Allard was also a big fan of the fair and free presidential election of 2020 and wished President Biden all her best on social media. However, some Alaskans didn't seem convinced of her sincerity regarding the election results and asked whether she thought the election was conducted fairly. Allard responded with respect and humility, telling her fellow Alaskan to 'shoo.'
Allard, who as we all know, possesses vast amounts of integrity and honor, caused Alaskans to faint in the streets when she absolutely and unequivocally told the truth about her government social media account being deleted by Facebook.
Ms. Allard was elected to the Anchorage Assembly in April of 2020 and has been making our lives miserable ever since. The Eagle Exit Assemblywoman is currently facing a recall effort that has been mounted against her due to her completely normal and totally acceptable behavior.
Reportedly, Allard has been a little sad in recent months since her B-level reporter pal, Maria Athens, stopped referring to her as a "patriot" and thus ceased hashtagging her interviews #SaveAnchorage.
Allard's many achievements during her time on the Anchorage Assembly as well as her educational experience are listed below.
